Throughout August and September, I'm exploring the sensitive soul's relationship with money. How scarcity and abundance live in our hypersensitive nervous systems, and what it takes to heal the deeper patterns that keep us stuck in financial fear.
Scarcity isn't the enemyâit's the Guardian to the gates of Abundance.
If we walk steadily and confidently thru Scarcity, we will arrive in the Sacred-City of Abundance. [think Dorothy going through the dark forest before reaching the Wizard of Oz]
The key is that we have to embrace both because Scarcity and Abundance work together, hand-in-hand.
Let me tell you about the day a $52 bottle of vodka taught me this lesson."
"They like vodka. Top shelf. Grey Goose. The big bottle."
I stood frozen in that Naples liquor store aisle, staring at the price tag like it might magically shrink if I blinked hard enough. Fifty-two dollars. That bottle cost more than a week's worth of groceries.
This was a real financial pinch. I was staying with a woman who lived in a world of . . . so not my world. I'd arrived in Naples FL, the land of luxury SUVs that glided silently through valet parking lots, and I drove my ten-year-old Toyota Prius, proudly bearing two unrepaired fender benders I couldn't afford to fix.
My first night in town, my hostess whisked me out for martinisâ$20 each. Four drinks. Eighty dollars I never could have ordered myself. She paid, and I forced myself to feel grateful.
When I asked how I could thank her, she smiled and said, "You could thank my ancestors."
I imagined a prayer, maybe some incense at her altar. But no, she meant vodka, specifically Grey Goose âThe big bottleâ$52!!
My nervous system went into full scarcity mode. That familiar metallic taste flooded my mouthâcopper pennies mixed with panic. My shoulders contracted. I stopped breathing.
But instead of walking awayâinstead of letting that contraction make the choice for meâI paused.
I asked that scarcity feeling: "What are you trying to tell me?"
My scarcity guardian had done its job. I paused long enough to check and change my motivation, to make sure I wasn't giving from depletion, or people-pleasing, or guilt, or responsibility. I waited, staring at the frosted Grey Goose bottle until I knew I could make this purchase out of pure gratitude, with my whole heart.
And then, that weekend, tips were higher than usual. Meals kept appearing without me paying. A weird kind of ease slipped in, soft and unexpected. I left Naples with less credit card debt than I'd arrived with, and a stack of cash so think my wallet wouldnât snap shut.
Even though the math didn't make sense in the moment, I had honored both frequenciesâthe contraction that made me pause, and the expansion that let me give.
Hereâs what I did in that scarcity contraction pause as I stared at that bottle of Grey Goose in the liquor store, to honor it and transmute it into the Expansion of Abundance.
The Sacred Balance of Scarcity and Abundance
In that moment, holding the bottle of vodka, when I stopped breathing and let myself freak out for a moment about the $52 price tag, my nervous system did exactly what it was designed to do. It protected me from unconscious spending, people-pleasing, and giving from an empty cup.
When I paused and brought my breath back to the moment, I heard the truth underneath the contraction.
"Are you buying this because you feel obligated? Because you're trying to prove you belong in her world? Or because this genuinely feels like sacred reciprocity. . .Before you spend money you don't have, let's make sure this choice is aligned with your values, not your insecurities."
What I also heard was that I didnât want to buy that bottle out of utter disregard for my own boundaries and responsibilities either. Because to be in too much abundance isnât necessarily a good thing either as it can lead to being ungrounded, irresponsible, and forceful.
And here's what I learned about Abundance that day: Abundance flows when we honor our our protective instincts, listening to them, and make conscious choices from a place of clarity rather than fear or obligation or a place of utter disregard for practical matters.
As sensitive souls, we are more attuned to feeling the equanimity of contradictory emotions. We can feel contraction AND expansion, happening at the same time. Itâs not either/or, but rather both/and. This is our gift, not our curse.
When I paused in that liquor store and brought breath back to my body, I was able to allow the balance of scarcity-contraction and abundance-expansion to balance with each other. I didnât swing directly from scarcity (tightness) into abundance (looseness). I found that balanced center of both-and.
âBecome a paid subscriber to read below the paywall and learn the exact exercise I did in that liquor store to balance scarcity and abundance as well as a âlazy-yogaâ approach to upgrading your nervous system operation manual to be more attuned to expansion/contraction equanimity.